i topple in ruins

There's a shift in my timeline
And I dont know how to feel,
familiarity in my bones,
an uncomfortable fever

So silent and so still in the eye,
turbulent when you get near,
and my anxiety jitters through my being.

it begins to shake, it wrestles my mind,
it tugs until it yells,

and finally it succeeds to wake up its longtime prisoner

as it speaks to my unsatisfied ego

it murmurs, and muffles out the words,
“he’s here.”

So here i stand in front of him,
I wasn’t expecting to be found. in fact, i wasn’t even sure he’d find his way, i didn’t even think he’d survive at all. well, my body has felt a million deaths, i felt his too. in each of those i always found myself here. i waited here, hoping he’d find me at the same damn time this time around.

well it took lifetimes before he found me.

and when he did,
with a sigh of relief,
I toppled in ruins


i liquify.