H O P E.

I've been angry at the world for far too long. I need to speak to God more often.
I get so angry, I can't even speak to my mother anymore, I loveee her so much, & she's the one I hurt the most. I love her so much that I'm afraid I'm gonna die from loving her so much. I'd never tell her this. I have been angry for far too long, I've forgotten why I was even angry to begin with.

A couple weeks ago, I'd say "I cant wait to die" and I even stopped loving my self-confident, conceited, cocky me. Where'd I go? I want me back! I neeeed me back. I lost it all, without me, I can't find anything, I can't translate, I can't commute. I live in a labyrinth.

I found myself at the bottom of a pitless abyss. I cry, cry, cry. But I've forgotten how much love I used to have for everything and everyone in this world. I might've said that I had a rotten heart, and up to this day I really can't believe how bad my heart really was. No one can see this. No one can heal it. I need you, poppa. When will we be together again? I'm sick and tired of having to walk this dirt if I can't be with you. I can feel you, all day, everyday. I can't believe that my fears took over and your love was pushed aside. I need you, hold me, puhhhleeeeez! Never, ever let me go, and I know you never will, and I need you now more than I ever have. Help me get through these rough times, even if they're really not rough, help me through it alllllll. Until you come, I'll be waiting, because I know Heaven is well worth it.